anecdotes

i like anecdotes. i also like traffic lights. no matter where they've been. but only when they're green.

today i want to share with you a few short stories from my interactions with other people.

there is this old guy i work with at the temple. old people say the funniest things sometimes. he was telling me about his son in law who is 6'7". Apparently he is considered tall, and people ask him about his height all the time. Rather than responding with the traditional, 'oh i'm six foot seven,' he responds by saying, 'i'm five foot nineteen.' i just thought that was so clever. i could be five foot fifteen you know . . .

this same old man was telling me about his nephew. he is married and has 8 kids, 2 girls and 6 boys. when talking about his family, people often ask how many kids he has. he responds by saying, 'oh i got two and a half dozen.' clever.

the other day i was at headstart where i work with a class of four year olds. after snack time, one of the kids was leaning up on the counter with his feet off the ground balancing his weight in order to reach the faucet (and this is a sink that i can use while on my knees). he was doing such a good job balancing that i asked him if he was a gymnast. he said 'no.' i said 'are you sure?' and he said, 'yes! i'm not a gymnast, i'm a kid!'

in mafikeng south africa, the first city i lived in on my mission, i arranged for my follow-up trainer to be mugged during his first week. we had a meeting with the branch mission leader to discuss the missionary work in the branch, and i told him beforehand what route we would take. i asked him to meet us on the corner and call to us. being the nice missionaries we were, of course we were going to stop and see what he needed.

and so it went. as we pulled around the corner we heard an excited voice say, 'missionaries!' we moved towards him and stopped our bicycles. my companion spoke next, 'hey man, how are you?' 'i'm good, i just recognized you as the missionaries.' 'oh cool, so you know the church?' all of the sudden, he grabbed my companion by the collar and pulled out a knife. 'give me your phone and your money!' 'alright, take whatever you want.' he took everything from my companion, including the phone and his wallet, american drivers license, passport, and missionary nametag. he then told us to ride in the opposite direction. we went away, and circled the block. my companion was freaking out and said we had to call the cops. i was like, 'how? we just lost our phone!' 'well, lets get to the mission leader's house and then we can use his phone to call.' so we started towards the mission leader's house from a different direction.

at this point, we saw a police truck just ahead of us. it was cruising along slowly, going the same direction we were. my companion was like, 'hey! we gotta stop that police officer and report what just happened!' my jaw dropped. this was the worst turn of events. well, i guess it would have been worse if the mission leader had stabbed my comp, but that is the only worse thing i can imagine. so my companion sped off after the police truck. i grudgingly accompanied him, trying to go as slow as possible while looking like i was peddling quickly. my mind was racing looking for a way to stop him if we got really close to the truck. luckily, just as we were getting close, the truck turned the corner onto a more major road and sped off.

relieved, we turned back towards the mission leader's house. as we arrived, i made sure my companion was standing in front of me at the door. we knocked, and the mission leader opened the door with a bright smiling face. he was wearing a white shirt and tie, and was wearing my companion's name tag. 'welcome to mafikeng elder!'